Dear Vista: It's Time to Part Ways

Vista, I have to tell you something, and I thought it would be easier to say in a letter. Microsoft's newest operating system is on its way; . So, I know this is kind of awkward, Vista, but I'm going to have to ask you to get your things ready and start packing up.

Look, I know you'll miss your old hard drive, but this kind of thing happens all the time. I hope you aren't crying. Don't you remember your cousin? ? He had a tough career too, and now he's got his own . Retirement is going to look good on you too, Vista. And, remember, for a few more years anyway.

I know we've gone through some good and bad times together. I really felt for you when InfoWorld started that petition to . I mean, how embarrassing for you, really. Then there was the whole , but let's just chalk that up to a natural human tendency to resist change.

I certainly hope you're not still mad about that whole . I told you it was something that I just said in the heat of the moment. I didn't mean it. Look, put yourself in my shoes, would you? I had just found out I needed to purchase a new machine that was supposed to work well with this new OS called Vista. You had so many neat-sounding things like Aero, BitLocker, ReadyBoost, SuperFetch, Windows Connect Now, and Windows SideShow. I had no idea what all that meant, but it sounded fun. So there were some problems at first, but in the end I didn't go through with joining the lawsuit, did I? Besides, a federal judge decided the anyway, so it all worked out didn't it? I mean, you turned out to be a wonderful OS for this machine; well, you were very pretty and very nice anyway.

Now, I know what you're probably doing right now. You're and asking me if I want to continue. Look, I know this is hard, but yes, we have to have this discussion. Your security obsession always annoyed me. Yeah, I know I could've just gone into your Control Panel, selected User Accounts and Family Safety, then User Accounts, and then clicked . But then I wouldn't have had that added security, would I? I just wanted to have greater control, that's all; and a little bit more.

Please, let's not talk about those hard times; I think it's best to remember the good days we had. I'll never forget how confused I was when I saw you for the first time. Here you were, this pretty little OS and I had a heck of a time that were renamed and moved all over the place. Fun stuff.

Artwork: Chip Taylor

Remember when it took me all night to put you on an upgraded XP machine? Those were good times. I remember I wanted to back up my files, wipe the hard drive and then do a clean install. That meant I instead of just installing Vista and then inserting my old XP disc to verify that I qualified for an upgrade. But eventually we got there, and I finally saw your shiny interface on that old computer.

What a crazy night that was, and if it makes you feel any better there have been reports the won't be easy either -- although . I realize you're probably thinking about all those features you've got over XP right now. It's true: were so much better than XP. I mean, who really liked that flea-bitten XP dog anyway?

It's also true that some are saying , and the , but, look -- everybody's really excited about Windows 7. Did you see yesterday? He was so excited. I know , but I felt there was even a little more excitement than usual this time. .

Anyway, Vista, this is getting a little long. I know a lot of people are saying they won't miss you, and I regret that things didn't work out. But that's how it goes sometimes. The world just wasn't willing to accept you, even though Look, I hope retirement is really great for you Vista, and let me just close by saying I am truly sorry about that time I tried to .

Take care, Vista.